


Dancing with your ghost

by cocoakisses



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mentioned Nishinoya Yuu, Mentioned Oikawa Tooru, Moving On, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29346777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cocoakisses/pseuds/cocoakisses
Summary: "You can ask anyone who knew them, they were so in love. But unfortunately, the universe for some reason wanted to separate them in the worst way possible."
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Kudos: 4





	Dancing with your ghost

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! so this is my first one-shot into this fandom :)  
> this is actually a re-write of one of my old one-shots from another fandom and i thought "why not make this with my comfort ship?" so here i go
> 
> Also my first language is not english so if you see any mistakes pls tell me!
> 
> tell me what you think in the comments :)))

_**Yelling at the sky** _

_**Screaming at the world** _

_**Baby, why'd you go away?** _

Suga was sitting in his sofa, looking at the pictures of their wedding. Little diamonds falling from his eyes. Why? Why him? from all the people, why did he had to loose the person he loves most. Why them? Why him?

It was a rainy night, and Suga was sitting there. Reminding the love of her life, all the good memories they had together. Reminding their love.

You can ask anyone who knew them, they were so in love. But unfortunately, the universe for some reason wanted to separate them in the worst way possible. Daichi got into a car accident while driving home after work, there where no survivors. It was a drunk old men who hit him. Suga was waiting in their house, waiting for him to get home.

He never did.

He sat there, looking at their memories. Crying silently in his sofa. Deep inside of him, he blames herself. It should have been me not him, he thinks. This wasn't supossed to end like this. They were supposed to adopt a kid and be a family, go to explore new places, visit they old friends. 

He let out a sob "i miss you, Daichi". More tears fell from his eyes, falling into the picture he was holding. He held the photo tight into his chest and fell asleep.

_**I'm still your ~~girl~~ boy** _

_**Holding on too tight** _

_**Head up in the clouds** _

_**Heaven only knows** _

_**Where you are now** _

Sometimes he dreams about him, holding him one last time. Hugging him till he wakes up, kissing and talking to him, even if he knows it's only a dream. He wakes up with tears in his eyes and lets the saddness take him. 

Some nights he wonders if he is okay where he is right now, if he's in peace, if he's at least happy. Or if he can see him, watching how his world seems to be crashing down.

Some days he feels like he can't keep going, he wants to give up. But he knows that Daichi wouldn't want that. He knows that if he would be still here, Daichi would scold him and make him continue and not give up. So he keeps going, even if it hurts him.

_**How do I love** _

_**How do I love again?** _

_**How do I trust** _

_**How do I trust again?** _

"I can't Asahi" Suga says to his best friend. They are sitting in Asahi's couch, his friend trying to comfort him. Even if at the end it doesn't work.

"Kou, you need to move on. It's been a year now" he says hopefull. Suga doesn't want to move on, he doesn't think he can. It feels like he can't trust the world anymore, it feels like if he lets himself to love someone again, the universe would betray him again.

"I know, but i can't. It doesn't feel right, i can't let myself get through more pain." he says, tears appearing in his eyes again. " also..." he pauses "i still love him, this- we weren't supossed to end like this- it just-" he tried to keep talking, but his emotions took part. Asahi went to comfort him, hugging him tight "Its okay" he rubs circles on his back "take your time".

_**I stay up all night** _

_**Tell myself I'm alright** _

_**Baby, you're just harder to see than most** _

It was already midnight, and Suga couldn't sleep.

He was on his head. His hugs, his kisses, him whispering sweet things to his ear, everything was coming back to his mind.

He wants to be alright, he wants to be fine. So when someone asks if he's okay, he doesn't have to lie like all the other times. He tries to tell himself that he's fine, that everything will be alright.

But when those kind of episodes keep coming back to his mind in the middle of the night, he looses hope. He feels like he can't. 

He closes his eyes, hoping to dream with Daichi. Even if at the end, it would hurt more.

**_I put the record on_ **

**_Wait 'til I hear our song_ **

**_Every night I'm dancing with your ghost_ **

**_Every night I'm dancing with your ghost_ **

He waits for "Perfect" from Ed Sheeran to play in his playlist.

It was the song that Daichi and Suga danced in their weeding. They always loved that song, they didn't know why but they always felt like it was their song. Daichi used to sing Suga that song when he was feeling down, even if Daichi always complained that he didn't sing well it somehow helped Suga.

It starts to play, he stands up from the couch and starts slow dancing. Just like if there was someone with him. He swears he sould feel him right there, dancing with him.

So he closes his eyes, and all the memories from their weeding, their first dance, their vows, their kiss, everything starts playing on his head. It's like he is living that exact moment again. Tears start to come from his eyes but

Somehow he feels better. He feels happy. The thought of Daichi, after months, makes him happy.

He feels gratefull. For every moment shared with him, for every kiss, every hug. He feels gratefull for him.

He stills loves Daichi, he loves the memories of him, he loves the feeling of his presence. Its like his ghost is there, dancing with him.

_**Never got the chance** _

_**To say a last goodbye** _

_**I gotta move on** _

_**But it hurts to try** _

He is feeling better than months ago. He's finally trying to enjoy life, after feeling like he couldn't anymore, after thinking he could never move on.

Suga started to go out with some friends, mostly Asahi, Noya and sometimes Tooru, spending time with his own family and Daichi's family. It was good seeing them again, even if it reminds him of Daichi.

It's been 3 years since Daichi's death, he keeps coming every wednesday and sunday to his grave. To talk to him, to tell him how he is doing.

Surprisingly, he's seeing some guy he meet one night on some bar. They keep talking, he still didn't told him about Daichi. He wants to wait a little bit more. Even if he's better than before, he doesn't feel ready. Just a little bit more.

"Hey Dai, it's me again" he's sitting in front of his grave with new flowers for him. "I miss you... so much. You know, i've been trying to move on. I meet this guy, his name is Matt. He is so sweet" he smiles a little, trying to fight the tears that are trying to scape from his eyes "im feeling better, you know? im trying. Don't think im- im trying to reemplace you because im not. I don't think i could ever love someone the same way i loved you. Never." he says looking at his lap " i want to move on, i want to feel better, it just doesn't feel right Dai. I try to open up more to people but-" tears start to fall from his eyes.

"What if- if the world ends up hurting me again. I don't feel like i can trust anymore. You were the real love of my life, my soulmate" he smiles at the word, Daichi always said they were soulmates. Even if Suga always laughed at that, he belives it too.

"If you- if you somehow can let me know that you are okay with me moving on, please tell me" he says, more tears fall. "I will always love you, i promise you" and with that he put the flowers down and left.

*******

That night, he dreams about him and Daichi. They are in Daichis bed, Suga has his head on his lap and Daichi is playing with his silver hair. "You know Kou" he says looking at the guy on his legs "If something happens to me, i want you to move on. Even if it hurts, i want you to be happy even if it's not with me. Don't stay in the past and move on." he looks at him with a confused look "What? Why are you telling me this?" he smiles at him.

"It doesn't matter, okay? Just promise me that" he stays silent, looking at his eyes. "Ok-Okay, i promise" he says. He smiles and kisses him, it was a long kiss full of love. It almost felt real.

When he wakes up, he thinks about the dream. It was him.

He answered him.

**Author's Note:**

> maybe you noticed maybe you didn't but this story is kind of following the lyric of the song "Dancing with your ghost", when i heard it i got inspired so i wrote this lol
> 
> comments are appreciated, tell me what you think! :)))


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